Texas: Celebrating 100 Years of Ellington Field

The Texas Times –
Celebrating 100 Years of Ellington Field

A lot has changed in Houston, Texas over the past 100 years.  
For one, the city’s population is now about seventeen times what it was in 1917.  We’ve found better ways to beat the year-round heat than 300-pound blocks of ice, thankfully.  And you don’t see too many horses and buggies riding down Houston’s Westheimer Road anymore.
But one institution that has stood the test of time, and is still up-and-running on its 100th anniversary this month, is Houston’s Ellington Field–and you could say its history is the story of a lifetime.
Ellington Field was built in May of 1917 – just weeks after the United States entered World War I – when the War Department purchased 1,280 acres of land south of Houston.  The location was chosen for its favorable flight conditions.  It would soon be the site of a first-class pilot training base to meet the rising demand for military pilots in Europe.
The 120th Aero Squadron was transferred from San Antonio’s Kelly Field to Ellington Field, and civilian pilots were brought in from across the nation to train America’s newest airmen for battle.  They trained quickly and efficiently, and returned home from Europe as victors of the Great War.
The end of the war threatened the deactivation of Ellington Field, but it wasn’t long before another unit took advantage of the prime real estate.  In 1923, when the War Department authorized the Texas National Guard to establish its first aviation squadrons, the 111th Observation Squadron — tasked with mapping, photography, and reconnaissance support for the U.S. 36th Infantry Division — found its home on the runways of Ellington Field. 
When “Houston’s Own” 111th Squadron moved west to smoother runways at the newly-built Houston Municipal Airport in 1927 (known today as Houston Hobby), Ellington Field became obsolete.  Prairie grass grew so tall over Ellington’s runways that the War Department resorted to leasing the land to cattle grazers for revenue. 
But the rise of the Second World War created new demand for pilots, navigators, and bombardiers – and required top-notch training facilities to get them ready for battle fast.  Once again Houston’s favorable flight conditions, and the desire to protect the area’s oil refineries that fueled war efforts, brought the War Department’s focus back to Ellington Field.  The government still owned the abandoned base, and Houston’s rapid growth had made Ellington Field more accessible by highway and rail.
Once again, Ellington Field became a premiere flight training facility, home to the U.S. Army Air Corps’ Bombardment Academy of the Air.  Its well-trained pilots again returned home victorious and were so essential to the war effort that they led the United States to establish an independent U.S. Air Force.
As a reflection of the U.S. commitment to the Air Force, Ellington Field became Ellington Air Force Base.  Its buildings and runways were renovated for a fleet of larger and heavier aircraft, and it became the new home to the Civil Air Patrol, a public service unit centered on emergency service missions such as search and rescue and disaster relief.
Soon, the U.S. was ready for a new type of flight.  In the early 1960s, NASA officials traveled the nation to survey locations to house their new astronaut training complex, and they came to the same conclusion the War Department did 45 years earlier: the Houston climate was perfect for flight training.  That, along with Houston’s infrastructure, access to deep-water ports, and its first-class universities, led them to choose Houston as their new headquarters, and Ellington Air Force Base as their new astronaut flight training facility.  It’s where Neil Armstrong trained to maneuver in low-gravity zones, withstand G-forces, and even plant an American flag before he became the first man to land on the moon in 1969.  And it’s now supporting NASA’s next great mission: landing a human on Mars. 
Today, on Ellington Field’s 100th anniversary, it is one of the few World War I installations still in use.  It just became one of only ten FAA licensed commercial spaceports in the United States.  It accommodates NASA, supports civilian airports, and the Ellington Joint Reserve Base boasts the unique distinction of serving all five branches of the U.S. military – Air Force, Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard.
For a century, Ellington Field has been a second home to those leading U.S. aviation and space exploration, defending democracy across the globe, and providing hope and support to Americans after natural disasters.  I am proud to commend its 100 years of meaningful service.

Illinois: Busy Beaver Button Museum

BUSY BEAVER BUTTON MUSEUM ARTS

Some of the most fascinating archival collections focus on a single kind of ephemera. These topical collections are entertaining to browse while also offering unexpected insights into the past. Chicago’s Busy Beaver Button Museum is one of the finest (and, at times, funniest) collections of ephemera published in The Scout Report this year. This collection of hundreds of pinback buttons spans over a century and includes at once, poignant buttons, political buttons, irreverent buttons, and a few truly dated buttons. The highlight of this digitized collection just might be the Beaver page, which features solely buttons related to beavers.

Ever since pinback buttons were patented in 1896, buttons have been produced and worn for a plethora of reasons, from supporting a politician (e.g. the iconic I LIKE IKE buttons), to commemorating an event, to just showing off the pinner’s sense of humor. The Busy Beaver Button Museum exists to document this unique item of cultural expression. Readers may visit the museum in person, in Chicago, or browse the comprehensive online collection here. Categories include Ask Me, which includes the classic “Ask me about…” buttons, Self Referential, which includes buttons that reference the fact that they’re buttons, and Sports, Advertising, Political, Innovative, and other descriptive options. There is also a Fan Museum, which allows users to submit their own buttons, as well as browse the buttons of other fans. The News section features blog posts on the history of buttons, such as a great post on the history behind the right to vote, as depicted through buttons. Finally, readers will also find a wonderful book, A Very Brief History of Buttons, which can be viewed for free as a PDF.

Seek This Haunted Tree at a Port Isabel Cemetery at Your Own Risk (2 Pics)

Seek This Haunted Tree at a Port Isabel Cemetery at Your Own Risk

Port Isabel is often forgotten and overlooked because of Padre Island, a more popular tourist location, stealing the spotlight. Regardless, the bay town is beautiful and small – you can literally walk anywhere you want.
Mainly a fishing community, everyone knows everyone in Port Isabel. It’s peaceful and calm, and it sounds like the perfect place to visit.
If your path ever takes you there, and if you are not easily spooked, visit the Port Isabel Cemetery. With a dash of luck and bravery, you might discover the secrets hiding beneath the trees.

Discovering the secrets of the haunted tree can steal your sanity

A curious woman decided to travel to Port Isabel. “I was tired of listening to my Grandmother describing the tale,” she said, “so I went to see by myself.”
The cemetery is dotted with trees, so she did not know which tree was the haunted one. “I believe all of the trees are haunted, or maybe I just got lucky.”
The woman did everything per her grandmother’s instructions. She went to the cemetery after midnight, braving the quiet and the dark. The moon was full; the night was warm. “I checked every calendar to make sure I was there at the right time.”
As she waded through the cemetery, she kept her eyes and ears open for the ghost of the Sybil Child. She thought she had the strength to face the child without going crazy.
“I don’t think I managed it,” she said.
As she approached a nondescript tree in the middle, she shivered, despite the heat of the night. She knelt before it, avoiding not to walk over anyone’s grave. “Grandmother told me to avoid doing that, lest I wake them up as well.”
As she knelt and waited, she felt the urge to close her eyes. “As if two small palms pressed against my eyelids, closing them slowly. There was no one at the cemetery but me.”
The woman closed her eyes. And then, she saw…
“Flashes and glimpses, too fast for me to process, played against the back of my eyelids. My eyes were closed, but I knew that the skin on my arms and neck had become the color of moss.
“I was sick. My skin turned to moss, then my flesh, and finally, my bones showed through.”
Though she did not hear the voice of the child, suddenly, she knew things she had never known before. The Child showed her cities bathed in writhing green moss, as the illness became a plague and spread like wildfire across the world.
The woman screamed and opened her eyes. “I was fine. The night was calm.”
Every night since, she sees the same vision. Her arms, turning into moss, bones showing through. “I don’t know how long I will last like this,” she said, “I feel like I am going crazy.”

The Ghost of the Sybil Child haunts the cemetery in Port Isabel, Texas

The Ghost of the Sybil Child haunts the cemetery in Port Isabel, Texas

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The cemetery is the permanent home of people from all religions. Though locals loathe telling the story, the ghost of the Sybil Child is among them. When the Sybil Child lived, centuries ago, she was a prophet. Every full moon, she would go into a trance and walk around town, eyes blank, telling tales of doom.
One morning after the full moon, she disappeared. They say some people were scared; others thought she was a witch, and that the girl, a mere child still, met a violent end. The Port Isabel Cemetery is where her spirit resides, and she welcomes brave souls to share her gift and See things yet to come.

Haunted Miami Campground: The Ghosts of Larry and Penny Thomson Park (2 Pics)

Haunted Miami Campground: The Ghosts of Larry and Penny Thomson Park

Larry and Penny Thompson Park is always a great choice for those who are looking to spend a few nights away sleeping in a tent. This Miami campground has 270 acres of forests, a freshwater lake to swim in and several trails for avid hikers or horse riders to enjoy.
Along with all that, it also has a number of malicious spirits that occasionally want their presence to be known by the park campers.

A Haunted Miami Campground

Standing in the same field that is home to the Miami Zoo, the Larry and Penny Thomson Park was created as a memorial to the Miami Herald cartoonist, Larry Thompson, who was a devoted naturalist and wildlife lover. Natural beauty was schemed to take over the park, and its visitors can appreciate it even in the smallest wildflowers.
However, the park has been reported to have unwanted inhabitants that might not have been part of the plan in the first place, but still took over the field as years passed by.
It is told, by some of the visitors that have experienced strange phenomena, that there are foreign presences in places of the campground that create a malevolent atmosphere when they are around.
Whoever these ghosts are, no one has found a clear answer, but they seem to find pleasure in playing nasty deeds on the park’s visitors, especially when it comes to hiding their most important belongings.
From car keys and wallets to whole bags of food, the dead that roam the Larry and Penny Thompson Memorial Park have created great inconvenience to the visitors that have been forced to return home without their spare keys or any of their bank cards.
These spirits are not in constant action and they rarely show themselves, but occasionally, an unlucky camper will see shadows or hear whispers in the dark, threatening those who dare to listen.

Spirits With Malicious Intentions

Spirits With Malicious Intentions

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As things go missing, some other stuff show up in the campground as well. A low number of visitors have reported finding old belongings and even voodoo figures near their tens. A camper with a particularly dreadful experience retells the story that left him unable to sleep at night:
“The same day I arrived at the park, I went to the lake and swam for a while. When I came back to mycamping spot, the sun was setting”, he says.
“I was flabbergasted, ALL my things were out of the tent and scattered all over the ground as if someone had been looking for something.” The young man says he thought at first it might have been an intent of robbery but no one was camping anywhere near him that day. What happened next showed him how wrong he was.
“As I was organizing all of my things again, I noticed there were things that weren’t my own. They were dolls made out of sticks and feathers, like the ones used for voodoo and that sort of thing. That scared me a lot, I took them all and threw them away as far as I could”.
“Later that night, scared as I was, I was trying to fall asleep when I started hearing angry voices around my tent. Men’s voices. Then, suddenly, they started kicking my tent. I felt the feet of four or five man trying to hurt me from the outside”.
Somehow, between the fear and the shock, he crawled out of the floor and opened the tent door to see who was playing such a nasty trick. There was nothing or no one outside but silence.
“I didn’t go back to sleep. Who could?”, he questioned. “As soon as the sun was up, I took my stuff and left the park”.
Just as they did with this man, the ghosts in this Miami campground and their spiteful tricks have scared off a few visitors before who are not the first and likely won’t be the last to experience such terror on these grounds.

Evil Shadow at the San Diego Old Point Loma Lighthouse? (2 Pics)

Evil Shadow at the San Diego Old Point Loma Lighthouse?

In April of 1854, San Diego was in the process of receiving a government funded lighthouse on Point Loma. The project included the establishment of six lighthouses total along the coastline. The location had been selected because it was close to the summit of Point Loma.

The Historic Lighthouse of San Diego

The Point Loma Lighthouse was completed in October of the following year. As the lighthouse sat on a 400 foot cliff, it had the highest elevation of any lighthouse in the United States while it was in operation. However, due to the excessive fog in the area, many ships could not make out the light as they approached landfall.
As a result, the Point Loma Lighthouse ceased being used. It was last lit in March of 1891. Now there is a new lighthouse, called the New Point Loma Lighthouse, that lights up the coastline from a much lower elevation. What is now called Old Point Loma Lighthouse is still open to visitors.
Deirdre had decided to visit it because she had heard rumors that it was haunted. Some students at her high school had told her that they heard someone cry out when they were there. Eager to see a ghost, Deirdre decided to visit one day after school.

The Perfect Plan

“It had been overcast and rainy all day, and I remember sitting in math class thinking it was perfect weather for ghost hunting,” she laughed a little. I knew most of my friends wouldn’t take it seriously, so I just headed straight there after the last bell. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going.
“It was still raining when I made it to Old Point Loma,” she said. “As I started to climb the stairs, I started hearing this low moan, echoing up and down the lighthouse. The more I listened, the more I wondered what the hell was making that sound.
“The higher I climbed, the more intense the noise became around me,” Deirdre whispered. “I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied until I went all the way to the top. If I had been a ghost, that is where I would have hung out.
“The moment I took that last step onto the upper platform, I could tell the air was different all around me. It felt far colder, achingly cold. I hadn’t felt a moment’s apprehension until I made it up there,” she admitted.
“Suddenly a new shadow appeared on the wall opposite from where I stood. It was eerily human in shape, but nobody was up there with me at the time. I watched in fright as it glided towards the stairs and started to flow down them.
“I paced a couple of times, trying to clear my head,” Deirdre said, gesturing towards her temple. “I reminded myself that seeing a ghost is what I had come for, and that I better try to follow it. I ran down the spiral staircase as quickly as I dared.
“I scrambled my way to the bottom, but the shadow was nowhere to be seen. I drove back to San Diego overcome with so many emotions. My friends don’t believe me, but I know I saw a spirit at that lighthouse.”

10 Most Haunted RV Parks in Texas (Pics)

10 Most Haunted RV Parks in Texas

From numerous lakes to an endless array of attractions, the lone star state has plenty of fun filled activities for your family to enjoy on your next vacation together. RV parks in Texas are not only more cost effective than overly-lavish hotels, but are always full of their own private amenities for your group to enjoy.
There’s something invigorating about hitting the open road in your RV, while still having a sense of home no matter where the highway takes you. Some people like to venture out without a plan, and just see where they end up, and a lot of the time that can lead to some interesting adventures
The most interesting part? You may end up at a haunted park without even realizing it. If that’s what you’re looking for – you’re in luck because you’re about to discover the ten best RV parks in Texas to experience something paranormal…

The 10 Best RV Parks in Texas to Experience the Paranormal

10) Rio Guadalupe Resort – Canyon Lake, TX

If you're just passing through or staying a while (like the spirits that haunt the grounds), this is a nice spot to setup. The Rio Guadapule Resort is believed to be haunted, as many RV parks in Texas are.
This lakeside resort is so close to an array of attractions; you’ll find yourself wondering how you can do it all. If music and dancing is your thing, be sure to check out LaLa’s Dam Red Barn, or Gruene Hall. The lake itself offers tubing, rafting and kayaking. If you think you’re a brave soul, you might want to visit the pavilion around 3 AM.
According to local legend, a siren is supposed to emerge from the lake and walk around this area at night. Just make sure to plug your ears if you see her…many folks have become hypnotized by her and havefollowed her into the lake to drown.

9) Fredericksburg KOA – Fredericksburg, TX

The Fredericksburg KOA in Texas has mixed reviews online, we're not sure if that has anything to do with the ghosts.
At Fredericksburg there’s no need to leave the campsite in order to hear good music! The park has its very own stage, and local musicians come and play for free on most Friday and Saturday nights. During the day, the town of Fredericksburg has a variety of activities to offer, including the theater, museums and boutique shopping.
If you like games, this site has horseshoe pits…just be sure to leave the area once it gets dark. Locals have said that a black, shadowy apparition emerges from the ground and lurks in this area. If it sees you, it will try to smother you inside of its black, swirling mass of a body.

8) Northshore RV Resort – Lake Livingston, TX

Lake Livingston's Northshore Resort in Texas is a lovely place to spend some time. Even the people who see ghosts are generally happy with their stay.
With three hundred feet of shoreline and a private beach on Lake Livingston, Northshore is an ideal location for anyone who enjoys spending a lot of time down by the water. You can spend the day with your toes in the warm sand, or on a tube out in the water. While you may feel the environment is safe enough to let your kids roam free, make sure they avoid the lake if they are traveling by themselves.
Last year, a woman was warned by a medium, when she asked the psychic for guidance, to keep a watchful eye on her children on her next vacation. Several weeks later the woman and her family visited this RV park. Soon after, the woman’s young daughter told her that she had seen a “clear colored” man out in the water, beckoning her to join him. When she shook her head, the man started vomiting up a mysterious black liquid. It also ebbed from his eyes and his nose until she became so scared she ran away screaming.

7) Mill Creek Ranch Resort – Canton, TX

Canton Texas is home to a haunted RV park that goes by the name Mill Creek Ranch Resort. It's a beautiful place, at least before dark...
Those who enjoy fishing will be pleased with the seven large ponds at Mill Creek, which are heavily stocked with fish. This cottage and RV park also boosts several man made waterfalls, including one that drops into the outdoor pool. In nearby Tyler, be sure to check out the beautiful cats at Big Tiger Creek, as well as the Tyler Zoo.
Both are sure to be a big hit with kids. If you’re thinking about potentially renting out the Grand Lodge space for an on-site party, you may want to think again…Returning visitors avoid the facility, and claim that a poltergeist lives there.
The spirit has been known to throw objects across the room at anyone who enters the lodge alone. One young man even believes that the entity followed him back to his campsite, and trashed his RV while he was sleeping.

6) Buckhorn Lake Resort – Kerrville, TX

In Kerrville, there are plenty of real friendly folks to get to know, and a few ghosts, as you'd expect in Texas. Buckhorn is an excellent place to setup camp.
Of all the RV parks in Texas, Buckhorn is one of the few resorts that offer a section of the resort exclusively for campers who don’t have any children with them. For those of you who want a relaxing, quiet atmosphere in which to indulge yourself, then this area is for you.  Enjoy a peaceful day at the lake, or explore the lively nearby town Bandera—home to lively bars, venues, and special events, such as a choreographed gun fight in the streets!
Have an interest in the paranormal? Dare yourself to visit the recreation center on site around one in the morning. Rumor has it that a ghostly woman will appear, facing the wall in a corner of the room.
She will hum quietly to herself for a few minutes, before suddenly twisting her spine, bending herself in half before disappearing without a trace.

5) Lakeview RV Resort – Houston, TX

If you're looking to stay at a haunted RV park in Houston, and why wouldn't you be?, take a look at Lakeview.
This large RV resort is a little piece of paradise right near downtown Houston. The resort includes a lake, which people can swim in, fish, or jog around via trail, as well as three separate dog runs to keep your pooch exercised and happy. Lakeview is a short distance away from numerous activities in Houston, including Reliant Stadium, Museum of Fine Arts, and the Museum of Natural Science.
Recently, some visitors reported encountering a very strange lady in the office onsite. They believed she was some kind of manager for the campground until she turned and walked through a nearby wall. Spooked but okay, the family tried to forget about the incident
…Until the woman showed up at the foot of their bed that night, wielding a knife.

4) San Jacinto Riverfront RV Resort – Highlands, TX

Spending some time in the Highland Texas area? If you want a nice RV spot, that's not thaaaaat haunted, try the San Jacinto Riverfront RV Resort!
This river resort offers spectacular views, and lush, tropical style landscaping throughout. Spend a day walking the various river trails or down by the pier, catching catfish. San Jacinto is a great place to go for the history buff in your life.
It boosts the San Jacinto Monument and battleship, as well as the San Jacinto Battlefield State Historic Park just a few miles shy of the resort. There are some returning campers who believe that the spirits of dead soldiers wander through the campsite late at night. Their faint bodies can be seen walking through the site, accompanied by the sounds of phantom gunshots, and screams. A local psychic claims she can channel the spirits and help people speak to those who have passed beyond the veil.

3) La Hacienda RV Resort & Cabins – Austin, TXThere are cottages at La Hacienda RV Resort & Cabins, and places to camp your RV. They say the ghosts are just a little bit weirder in Austin, Texas.

Enjoy a good adrenaline rush? La Hacienda may be the perfect RV resort for you. Lake Travis, which is just a short drive away, is where the Volente Beach Water Park is, full of rides, pools and activities.
Also nearby is the Cypress Valley Canopy Tours where you can zip line and zig zag your way through the treetops. For those who enjoy keeping their feet on the ground, enjoy a round of putt putt golf on site. Up for a spooky challenge?
Visit the clubhouse after everyone else has gone to bed. According to two witnesses, the apparition of a young girl will appear—walking on the ceiling. When the two stood directly beneath her, she opened her mouth and vomited blood all over them.

2) Rayford Crossing RV Resort – Spring, TX

Rayford Crossing in Spring Texas is a known home to various paranormal entities, you can meet them if you want to.
There are many RV parks in Texas, but few that are as aesthetically pleasing as Rayford! Enjoy a dip in their large heated pool and hot tub, or work up a sweat in their modern fitness room, loaded with equipment. For those of you who like to play golf, Rayford is ideally located.
The Links at West Fork is just up the road, as well as several other golf courses in the area. If anyone in your group likes to fish, make sure they avoid the pond after sundown. Rumor has it that a strange, half-man half fish creature lives in the murky depths of the pond, and has been known to bite people if they get too close to the edge while it nocturnally feeds.
Those who have witnessed the creature have said it is the most disgusting and frightening thing they have ever seen.

1) South Padre Island KOA – South Padre Island, TX

South Padre Island, Texas looks beautiful during the sunset, but once the natural light is gone, strange things start to happen...
This beautiful resort is a great place if you and your family members enjoy having endless variety at your fingertips. There is a sandbox, and large playground for the young ones, a recreation room with ping pong, darts and games for the teens—even a playground for the family dog. This resort is also five minutes away from the beach, parasailing and dolphin watching.
Want to shoot some hoops? The site has a basketball court, but it should be avoided around four in the morning. Rumor has it that a young man committed suicide in the area a few years ago.
Now, his spirit is said to reappear by the court, and will stand there slitting his own wrists until the court is covered in blood.

Humor: Ways to Know You’re a True Floridian

Ways to know you’re a true Floridian

1. Socks are only for bowling.
2. You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.
3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
4. Your winter coat is made of denim.
5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
6. You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
7. Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
8. You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.
9. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
10. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.
11. You dread love bug season.
12. You are on a first name basis with the hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma, Irene, Cheryl, Rita, Mary, Alison.

13. You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.

14. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

15. ‘Down South’ means Key West.
16. Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
17. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
18. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
19. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
20. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
21. You’ve hosted a hurricane party.
22. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.
23. You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
24. You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.
25. You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘Northern Cuba’.

Poem: In The Land That Made Me Me!

In The Land That Made Me Me!
Long ago and far away,
In a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan
And the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents,
And they were you and me,
Long ago and far away
In the Land That Made Me Me.
Oh, there was truth and goodness
In that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges,
And Peyton Place was porn.
For Ike was in the White House,
And Hoss was on TV,
And God was in His heaven
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We learned to gut a muffler,
We washed our hair at dawn,
We spread our crinolines to dry
In circles on the lawn.
And they could hear us coming
All the way to Tennessee ,
All starched and sprayed and rumbling
in the Land That Made Me Me.
We longed for love and romance
And waited for the prince,
And Eddie Fisher married Liz,
And no one’s seen him since.
We danced to “Little Darlin'”,
And Sang to “Stagger Lee”
And cried for Buddy Holly
In the Land That Made Me Me.
Only girls wore earrings then
and three was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts,
Except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams
Did we expect to see,
A boy named George, with Lipstick?
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon,
Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie,
They never made it twice.
We didn’t have a Star Trek Five,
Or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty
In the Land That Made Me Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
And Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat
Whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr Wizard,
But not a Mr T,
And Oprah couldn’t talk, yet
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We had our share of heroes,
We never thought they’d go,
At least not Bobby Darin,
Or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal,
And life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever,
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We’d never seen the rock band
That was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren’t named Jefferson ,
And Zeppelins weren’t Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then,
And Monkees in a tree,
Madonna was a virgin
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We’d never heard of Microwaves,
Or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed,
But they weren’t grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out,
And “gay” meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-ed
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We hadn’t seen enough of jets
To talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left
At the bottom of the bag.
And Hardware was a box of nails,
And bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction
In the Land That Made Me Me.
Buicks came with portholes,
And side show came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough
To cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles,
And skirts came to the knee,
And Castro came to power
In the Land That Made Me Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride,
We had no Hill Street Blues
We all wore superstructure bras
Designed by Howard Hughes.
We had no patterned pantyhose
Or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for condoms
In the Land That Made Me Me.
There were no golden arches,
No Perriers to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda,
And cats were not called Bill.
And middle-aged was thirty-five
And old was forty-three,
And ancient was our parents
In the Land That Made Me Me.
But all things have a season,
Or so we’ve heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline
We swear by Retin-A.
And they send us invitations
To join AARP,
We’ve come a long way, baby,
From the Land That Made Me Me.
So now we face a brave new world
In slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they’re using
Smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children’s children
of the way it used to be,
Long ago, and far away
In the Land That Made Me….. Me.
If you didn’t grow up in the fiftys, you missed the greatest time in history.  
Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.